How the Committee is really selected

In theory, the committee is selected by the membership at the AGM. However, the recently declassified correspondence reproduced below gives an insight into the role played by guile, flattery and dissimulation in this process.

From Eric Brown to Roger Moulding

Dear Roger

This is a begging letter rather poorly wrapped up in a cloak of flattery and trivia. However I am hopeful that you will be so transfixed by the flattery and trivia that you will be minded to succumb to the grovelling that sneaks in later.

	Eric Brown in action at Pembrey.

You will have as one of your fondest memories in recent years your tenure as Equipment Officer for HHOC. During that time you were loved, honoured and obeyed and you were misty eyed and content that the service being provided to others added a little joy to their otherwise mundane and drab lives. "Roger is an inspiration" was the mantra throughout Hertfordshire. When the awful day came that bureaucrats in their petty folly ruled that the Great Man must pass the mantle elsewhere and downwards, many were overcome by grief. Some threw themselves over cliffs - although at least one was later found to have been a victim of poor navigation rather than an expression of despair.

During the Golden Age (1994-97), as it is now known, the equipment grew and prospered and knew no bounds.

The subsequent Wilderness years have seen the equipment shrink to but a mere sad fraction of its former magnitude, sitting all alone in a remote outbuilding. I can sense its despondency and loneliness and have heard the pitiful moan - "Bring back the Boss." In a sense of unworthiness, and in an attempt to right the wrongs of the last few years, the equipment, the Club and I implore you to take up your rightful mantle and lead us to the Golden Years part 2.

( Fading out to the tune of the immortal song "Nobody does it better." )

From Roger Moulding to Eric Brown

Eric,

Thanks for the truly remarkable gushing flattery. I don't believe a word of it! Have you been reading the Ken Livingstone story?

OK, I have to admit it, I've been suffering severe withdrawal symptoms over the last two and three quarter years. I just don't know what to do with the space! If you can't find any new blood, I would be happy to take up the reins again. However, I couldn't possibly match your supreme mastery of signing and frightening commitment to events. Yes, I really will have problems keeping up the standards you have set!

The only problem is my job. As you may be aware, the work I am now doing has a habit of taking me abroad and even Birmingham for short unspecified periods, often at very short notice. This could mean the equipment store turning into a bit of a self-service shop when I am away. At present longer trips seem to only happen about every three or four months, which shouldn't be too much of a problem, since Elaine doesn't seem to want to come with me. (Next trip is to examine industrial railway sidings in Romania. Ideal holiday destination I would have thought!)

To summarise, yes, I'll be pleased to do it, but, be warned, I may occasionally have to disappear at short notice.

Roger

P.S. I seem to have already started. I am the proud retriever of three punches (on broken canes of course), a kite and a control tile numbered 507. I'll return them to the fold sometime when I'm passing. That is, if the fold doesn't come to the punches beforehand.